Stop Judging Yourself by Your Past, You Don’t Live There Anymore.
How many times a day do you think about the past? How much time do you spend analyzing what you did, what you didn’t, or what you could have done better? First of all, how much destructive criticism do you add to your thoughts of your past, of a time that no longer exists? This is not healthy. Indeed, let yourself go about your past because you no longer live there.
You probably have a habit of remembering your past experiences, actions, and decisions often. But, unfortunately, you won’t be inclined to do it in a gentle way. Instead, you probably take an extremely cruel point of view. As a matter of fact, everyone questions their past with a magnifying glass. You also highlight each of your failures with a cruel and unrealistic filter of perfectionism.
- From artificial intelligence; “The only way to escape war is if I don’t exist at all.”
- The photography and cinematography of history
Why not show yourself more compassion? The truth is that you are not really aware of the damage you are doing to yourself. You tend to think you’ve learned something from your past by critically analyzing it. You probably believe that by constantly regretting or blaming yourself for what happened, you are paying off some kind of outstanding debt. However, when you stop judging your past self and come to terms with it, you will begin to learn so much more.
Don’t blame yourself
Guilt is your ego’s most powerful tool. Indeed, it leaves you captive to the past. You may feel guilty for hurting someone, for allowing yourself to be hurt, or for not making better decisions. You constantly wonder how you might act in certain situations and blame yourself for not doing better.
But before you fall into the guilt trap, never forget that you did the best you could in the moment. You really couldn’t have acted differently with the knowledge you had back then. What you did was the only thing you could do with what you knew at the time, who you were, and the circumstances in which you found yourself.
Now, looking back and with experience, of course, it will be easy for you to find alternatives. However, clarity always comes after learning, not before.
In fact, if you can see the past from another angle, it’s because of your previous mistakes. That’s why you need to celebrate your awareness. Under no circumstances should you fall into the trap of blaming yourself. Because you know today that you didn’t know then, and you did your best back then anyway.
Don’t regret your past
Regret is another emotion that keeps you captive. Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to feel remorse if you’ve hurt someone, or even yourself, as long as you follow appropriate action. In other words, ask for forgiveness, undo the damage, and learn from it.
There’s no use denying something after it has happened. Also, don’t waste energy on being disappointed and wishing it never happened. You cannot change it. Instead, remember that all these experiences teach you lessons. In fact, they made you the person you are today. This is your story, including all the mistakes and failures that brought you here. So be grateful for what you’ve learned and move on.
Don’t condemn yourself
Finally, remember that every day you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Because your past doesn’t define who you are today. Also, if you’ve made a mistake, it doesn’t make you a failure or a bad person.
Have you tried but failed? This does not mean that you will fail again. If you have been selfish or unable to set boundaries in the past, it does not mean that it is in your nature and cannot be changed. Stop defining and judging yourself for who you are. Don’t judge yourself for a past you no longer live in.
Don’t judge yourself, be at peace with yourself.
Ultimately, it’s time to look at your past self with compassion. No doubt you were hurt then and you let that happen. In any case, if you could go back in time with the knowledge you have now, you would change most of your past actions. However, you must forgive yourself, understand yourself, and look gently at your past self.
First of all, remember that experiences are lessons. Integrating your past and everything that is in it is essential so that you feel free to create a new path for yourself. Guilt, regret, and constant self-criticism bind you to those painful moments and condemn you to live permanently in a time long past.
Compromise with yourself and allow yourself to move on. You are ready and capable of being a different person. You no longer live in your past. Integrate it, learn from it, and move on with your life.
