Although young people seem to know everything and don’t always listen to our advice, in reality, they are dealing with intense insecurity within themselves.
Young people think that they already have a PhD in life and know everything. They are also not afraid to take risky decisions. Even if we feel that we are qualified to give advice because we are older and more experienced, our advice doesn’t matter. In fact, our words are just noise to them, sound carried away by the wind.
Why don’t they listen? Well, if you look at your own history, you will realize that you behave the same way. In fact, you also longed for independence and you thought you knew more than everybody else. So it is difficult to blame them when, in reality, it is a prototypical behavior of this particular life stage.
But what should not be overlooked is that no matter how determined they may seem, no matter how daring they may sometimes be, inside they are full of insecurities. After all, everything is new to them and they want to experience it all, but they are also full of doubts, fears, uncertainties and many misunderstandings. So how should we guide them? Let’s take a look.
Young people, especially those between the ages of 11 and 17, seem chaotic, unpredictable, talkative and sometimes even unbearable. However, adolescence is a long period conditioned by many dimensions that adults sometimes neglect. For example, we can only look at the changes in their bodies, height and clothes.
Yet, it is their brains that manage a slow and profound transformation. In fact, in many cases it can determine their lives. They also gradually wake up to the society in which they live. It is a scenario full of powerful stimuli that they are dying to experience and that often overwhelm them (even if they don’t admit it).
Young people think they know everything and do not hesitate to tell us their ideas to challenge us. They also often make decisions that don’t make much sense. But before we despair or get angry with them, we should try to understand why they do it. So, if you have a ‘know-it-all’ teenager at home, let’s take a look at why they behave the way they do.
One of the reasons why adolescents behave impulsively is that they still have an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex.
Brain development is incomplete
Currently, neuroscience has made remarkable progress in understanding brain development during childhood and adolescence. This is extremely important. It enables scientists to study the behaviors, reactions and needs of these young people. In fact, research by the University of Pennsylvania (USA) has revealed the following:
Factors such as impulsivity and thrill seeking in adolescence are explained by an immature prefrontal cortex. In fact, two processes start around the age of 11. The first is the maturation of frontostriatal reward circuits. This means that the child starts to become strongly interested in new goals and behaviors and to experience other sensations.
The second mechanism that occurs during pre-puberty is the onset of a period of pruning of neuronal axons. This translates into a reduction in cortical gray matter. It also starts a process of myelination that will last almost a decade. Indeed, the maturation of the prefrontal cortex will not be completed until the age of 21-25.
This translates into a constant search for sensation combined with poor impulse control and poor use of executive functions. For example, planning, self-regulation, cognitive flexibility, etc.
While it is true that there may be inter-individual differences and that there are in fact some thoughtful and prudent adolescents, the feeling that they already have enough experience to make decisions and get on with their lives is common.
Desire for individuality and search for own identity
Young people present the most ingenious arguments to prove their worth. They may even insist that we are not modern and do not understand. Sometimes their behavior can really drive us to despair. But they must be listened to. Because we need to understand the period they are living in.
Nothing defines individuality like making our own decisions. This is what the 14-year-old girl is looking for, to tell you that she is old enough to go out for the weekend with her friends. Also, another 15-year-old who insists she wants to quit school to become a streamer on Twitch.
Deciding for themselves also means marking their distance from others and showing (almost imposing) their own identity. However, these actions are often completely reckless and ill-considered.
They are full of doubt
While it is true that young people think they know everything, in reality they are plagued by insecurities. Indeed, adolescence is full of contradictions that even they find difficult to understand. For example, they often want to be alone, but they also want to be heard, loved and understood.
They want to find their place in the world, but what they are passionate about today soon bores them. They want to realize many goals and dreams but often don’t know where to start. This overwhelms them and even discourages them. They have so many reference figures to consult, whom they see every day on social media. On the other hand, they still need their parents, even if they don’t like to admit it.
Young people are young ‘know-it-alls’. They hide behind a false armor of strength and vulnerability, but often feel lost inside. At the end of the day, they are just people in the process of learning who they are. They are discovering both the world and themselves. As adults, we should always be their best supporters.
How can you support your ‘know-it-all’ youth?
As we have already mentioned, there are some young people who are discreet, thoughtful and fully aware that they do not know everything and that it is a good idea to talk and consult with adults. Equally, there are many who make decisions for themselves and consider themselves worldly. This leads to reckless behavior.
If you have a young person who thinks they know everything, here are some useful tips.
- Listen and talk to them. Start conversations but do not judge or criticize them.
- Understand them. Try and always see their point of view with respect and understanding. They will always be more inclined to follow advice that is not imposed on them.
- Look after their interests. For example, try to find out what they like, who they follow on social media and what their goals are.
- Give them responsibilities and set clear boundaries.
- The internet and social media should not be their main source of information. It is important that they do not build their world solely around this digital universe.
Finally, while it is true that most young people think they know everything about life, in reality they are just novice explorers. Therefore, make sure you guide them with respect and support. Also, remember that none of us knows everything about the world.
