Dear reader, one day does not keep up with the next. “Every day we meet life with another emotion and we are always hungry for emotion.” That’s a wonderful sentence I made up. Although we are not fully aware of our emotions when we open our eyes in the morning… We say hello to the day between the energy of a good sleep or the tiredness of a restless sleep. In every second, minute and hour after waking up, we continue the day hungry for emotion in one way or another. To be loved, to love, to be sad, to be sad, to be happy, to be in love, to hate, to be angry, to be resentful, to be offended… These are the emotions we experience during the day. How many emotions we experience in a day. You may have noticed how many words we have in our language to express our emotions. All languages are like this… The words that people make up the most are about their own emotions. Our emotions are what make us feel alive in the world of things. If they were taken away from us, nothing would make us realize ourselves. We exhibit our emotions from the moment we come out of the womb. Is there a baby that doesn’t cry when it comes out of the womb? Very few. That last sentence reminded me. Crying is our most emotional side. It is one of the most important emotions that expresses and perhaps defines human beings. We cry from sadness, we cry from joy. Sometimes a person can be happy by crying. For this reason, writers love to make their heroes cry and drag them into psychological problems.
If you are aware, almost every writer’s protagonists are always in a struggle for existence. The sense of existence is actually the most human endeavor. Man tries to exist. The way to exist is to try to understand. Perhaps this is why understanding our emotions is the most important thing that connects us to life. When it comes to emotion and existence in the novel, Dostoevsky, who wonderfully expresses human emotion and the search for it in his novels, undoubtedly comes to mind. Almost all of the heroes of his novels are heroes with finely crafted emotions and a quest as a result of these emotions. As Stefan Zweig says, “Dostoevsky’s people want to be in search all their lives. They know they will find reality, they do not want to enter it. Unsatisfied with the reality they have achieved, the characters turn to infinite emotions. Man wants to base his existence on a reason to live. He wants to alleviate the unbearable pain of his existence with concrete reasons. Therefore, he pursues visible riches such as position, authority, might, money, power. Dostoevsky’s people reject material riches with the back of their hands. All of them, after seeing the glamorous and luxurious life of St. Petersburg, throw it away and continue their lives in back alleys, damp attics, taverns, narrow streets. Dostoevsky embodies all the problems of the world in each person, pushing the boundaries between good and evil and the anxiety of existence. Dostoevsky’s people are not divided into good or bad. He presents his characters with transparency. They want us to understand them with our sincere feelings. They expect the deepest of feelings, always one more than life offers.”
When I was writing my novel, I put Dostoevsky as a rival, even as a writer I had to surpass. I know you won’t believe it, but I did. Even though I know I am not worthy of it. The problem is that my characters are all know-it-alls who put themselves in my shoes and try to write for me, advise me and guide me. Maybe it is because my characters are Turkish. I wonder if I should add some foreign characters. In the future, such different characters may emerge that I may regret or even curse that I wrote this novel. Maybe I need your support. Or maybe you should stick your nose into my efforts to write this novel and give me some advice. I know that there will be people among you who are very smart, very talented and even people who don’t like what I have written. But, unfortunately, I have taken on this job. For example, who could be the main character of the novel. Although there are other characters I haven’t written yet that you don’t know about. Especially there is a bus driver who is a great guy. He graduated from Istanbul University, Department of Physics. He has a master’s degree, but because he likes driving buses, overtaking vehicles in traffic, and chatting with people much more, he got into the municipality staff by finding a torpedo. According to him, physics is about accepting the realities of life and one of these realities is to find a torpedo in every job. Muiniddin. He’s a really great guy and a family man. If you get to know him. I’m sure you’ll like him.
Incidentally, Abdulgaffar and Ruwayda came out of the theater they went to fighting. Abdulgaffar didn’t like the theater and Ruwayda went crazy.
Right outside the theater, Izzeddin, the psychopathic hero of my novel, scratches the chestnuts in his hand. He cuts them so dirty, the jackal…
click for the previous chapter: Filthy Novel Reading Kant with Ghazali or Ankara Theater?
