James Randi, one of the greatest magicians in history, said in an interview, “Lying is easy. I’ve been doing it for more than 50 years and it’s very easy if you know how to do it.” But knowing how to lie and making the lie accepted as truth is not a simple task. This is especially so because our mind is often uncomfortable with betraying a trait that is part of its treasure: honesty.
On the other hand, when someone else lies and we catch them, we are likely to feel small and weak. This causes us to lose trust in the world and create a protective shell that breaks us from the inside. So we can lose the opportunity to spend quality time with wonderful people, doubting everything they tell us.
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A 2004 study at the University of Los Angeles found that even the most honest people lie several times a day in their daily routines. What’s more, we all lie by withholding information. This is a more accepted and subtle version of lying.
Strict consequences prevent lying
Experts agree that blocking is one of the most effective ways of dealing with personal relationships. But what if we have already become professional liars? The only way to prevent someone from continuing to lie is to create strict consequences that will prevent that person from cheating.
Learning who lies first is a prerequisite for setting such consequences. Today, many social studies give us tools and signs to develop this. Knowing the characteristics that give away a liar is key to preventing these signs.
First, one of the main characteristics of those who conceal information or alter the truth is that they are constantly on the defensive. They are therefore reluctant to cooperate or make statements that make them appear transparent and sincere. To continue, if you will join us, we will delve deeper into this topic.
It is well known that when we hide certain information, we inhibit ourselves internally and externally, and our gestures and facial expressions begin to look artificial. This is why people who know us feel that something is wrong, even if they don’t know why. They doubt our words or attribute it to other causes, ranging from our “reputation” to the fact that what we say is more or less plausible.
Therefore, good and skilled liars have learned to control their body language or, when they feel unable to do so, to use other means (calling, sending emails, leaving notes…) to avoid suspicion.
However, the less skilled ones still often put on an unnaturally forced expression, avoid sitting in front of those who ask them questions and continue to act defensively. In their minds they imagine many ways in which they could be caught and therefore feel obliged to be ready to prevent this from happening.
When we lie, the use of vague words causes us to distance ourselves from the truth. In addition, this lack of detail makes it difficult for anyone to scrutinize the lie. On the other hand, it prevents coincidences that might lead one to suspect that something is not what it seems. Finally, lack of detail allows us to store less information in our memory.
It is true that everyone, even the most sincere people, make mistakes. But it is also clear that we don’t mind giving them explanations when we are asked for them, if we have to. In contrast, when we meet someone who is lying, they will do everything possible to avoid giving an explanation. It is out of habit that they hold themselves back. Even when information is revealed, they will try to correct it quickly.